Ever wonder what would have happened if Superman were a Communist?

Superman fights for Truth, Justice, and the American way. But what if he fought for Stalin, Socialism, and the international expansion of the Warsaw Pact? The cold war just entered the Superhuman arms race. America's answer: The smartest man on the planet, a man so brilliant that he thinks up of a formula to balance The American budget on his coffee break while winning six chess matches at the same time. Here he is after his first portentous battle. The first of many. For the indefatigable Lex Luthor had never met a problem he couldn't solve. So he set to work creating a thousand destructive experiments to defeat the Soviet Superman.


Lex is a seriously excellent character in this series. He isn't a hero exactly. He's more of a foil. A check on the nearly infinite power Superman possesses.

By the by, Superman has different levels of power depending on who happens to be writing the book. This time Supes is unstoppable. He has titaninc amounts of strength, can travel at velocities approaching lightspeed, can hear conversations in a bunker a continent away. Basically he's a one-man Orwellian Big Brother. And brother that is scary.

But back to Lex. Easily my favorite character in the book. He uses his massive intellect to compete with the Man of Steel on the usual terms, throwing various supervillians and such at the last son of Krypton, but in a new convention, he competes with Superman on political levels as well. He even becomes the President of America once Superman becomes the head of the Communist party after the death of Stalin.

This I thought was the coolest part. Superman with all of his ridiculous power has by the nineteen eighties made the majority of the world a communist utopia, taking care of the people's every need, but in the process completely enslaving them. Only America and Chile remain capitalist societies and both are on the verge of collapse as noted by Wonder Woman below.



Speaking of Wonder Woman, at one point, Superman comments to her, "I don't know if we should be interfering with them to this degree. Half of them don't even wear their seat belts anymore." This shows the central point of the comic. It is a critique of socialism.

Basically the book asserts that a Utopian society attained at the cost of personal freedom doesn't count because freedom is everything. And representing the evil socialist mindset is the world's greatest hero. The best thing about this story is to see how Superman's innate morality, (the quality that makes him the most interesting.) plays out on the political scale. He begins as a servant of the public, trying to help the common man in every way he can. His wish to help people transcends borders, just as in the regular continuity. Superman the communist still will never take a human life. Instead he tries to win over his political and ideological enemies through the power of the communist ideal.

But due to the influence of another one of his enemies: Brainiac, the genocidal alien data collector, Superman's ideas are twisted and he ends up lobotomizing his more rebellious citizens in an attempt to preserve order. Eventually, Lex Luthor convinces Superman of the error of his ways by comparing the civilization he's created to a very familiar image to Superman fanatics. The bottled city of Kandor(in Red Son the city is Stalingrad) His final argument to Supes causes a revelation. Superman realizes that making the society perfect for the humans is no different that bullying them into submitting to his superior power, the exact antithesis of his socialist ideals: One above all, rather than the collective making their own decisions.

This epiphany causes the man of steel to go into hiding as a meek, mild mannered reporter, and no one is ever the wiser. Meanwhile, Luthor, having finally defeated his adversary is now free to use his knowledge for the benefit o mankind. He begins inventing a cure for a different disease everyday. He advances every field of science beyond all imagination, extending the human life time up to centuries, and even breaking the barrier to the afterlife. His genius creates the World that Superman envisioned.

It's a really interesting story for a superman fan. It completely re-envisions the character, while maintaining all of the elements essential to his iconic status.

Preachin' to the choir.

Ugh... Am I really gonna write about this?


You ever run into somebody, and immediately you just know: "I should not f**** with that guy."
That's this guy right here. For those of you who haven't heard of the Preacher comics by Garth Ennis and artist Steve Dillon, I'm about to let you in on an amazing sprawling epic that goes through heaven, hell, and leaves a lot of the earth a smoldering cinder once it's through. This comic has everything: Nazis, angels, cowboys, horse thieves, vampires, secret DaVinci Code-esque societies, inbred rednecks, murderous mayhem, John Wayne, Vietnam, and the Saint of all Killers. Simply put, this shit is off the damn chain. Hell, it pulls the chain out of the wall and now it's mauling the neighbor kid that always plays in your yard without asking.

This is a story about a preacher named Jesse Custer. Jessie is a reverend in a small town church who's down on his luck and deep in the bottle. One day a spiritual entity known as Genesis descends from heaven and possesses Jesse in the middle of his service. The entire church is set aflame and Jesse wakes up with no recollection of what happened, the amazing power of the Word of God, (an ability to make anyone do anything he says) and one hell of a hangover.

Turns out Genesis is the product of a union (that's P.C. for intercourse, try to keep up kids.) between an Angel and a Demon. It may be as powerful as God himself, and oddly enough, since Genesis came to earth the almighty has been missing from his throne. Now Stop before you get so offended, because it's only a story. Don't get me wrong it's an extremely sacrilegious story. If you are a hard right Christian conservative just stop reading right now. This will only piss you off.

Now speaking as a Christian myself, I will say that a lot of the time reading this I felt very uncomfortable with the writer's portrayal of God. It crosses the line on numerous occasions and the resolution of the story is nothing short of blasphemy. However, it's all fiction. None of it ever happened so there isn't any reason to get all fired up about it. Despite my religious affiliation, good storytelling is just good storytelling.

To continue, Jesse is fed up with the way things have been going on Earth and he wants answers, so he decides to go on a quest to track down our heavenly father and make him answer for the wanton destruction and chaos within the mortal realm. Along the way a secret society devoted to keeping the lineage of Christ intact--By inbreeding his relatives for the last two thousand years-- finds out about the supernatural power that Custer has gained. The wholly corrupt organization run by Herr Star, an evil bastard who consistently gets more and more terribly mutilated as the series goes on, decides that the inbreeds are no longer a viable option and chooses Jesse to be the new messiah instead. Here's a picture of Starr proofreading a paper for his underlings.


I hope maybe you're starting to get the gist of why this series is so excellent, but just in case you aren't I'm gonna go ahead and put a few more tasty visual tidbits from the series here for you to enjoy.



Above we have the lovable British bloodsucking scamp called Cassidy. He's Jesse's best bud, and traveling companion. Below is one of my favorite scenes, in which Jesse busts up a sex/coke party to find these two former angels. They're going to help him find out where God is.




Above we have Arseface. Cassidy named him. His backstory is too long, but the short version is that he was a depressed teenager who was enamored with Kurt Cobain... so he shot himself in the face with a shotgun... and survived.

Moving on, I think this picture speaks for it self quite nicely.



Well, I hope that was a graphic and vulgar enough gallery to lose at least some of you. Anyway, this is the stuff your children are reading. And you thought comic books were good kid-friendly fun. Ha.

Despite the deplorable amounts of gore, violence, and nudity that parades itself across the pages in this series, it really does have a lot of redemptive literary value as well. Jesse is an uncompromising hard-nosed bastard determined to see that justice is done in every situation he can. He never picks a fight, but always finishes the job he sets out to do. His motives are pure though his methods and deeds stray far outside the line in many cases. Through Jesse's eyes the reader gets to see a very black and white veiw at a predominantly gray world. Jesse travails and we travail with him, finding ourselves in numerous horrifying situations that are no fault of our own but have to be dealt with regardless. His actions take on greater meaning when we consider all of the crap we have to take in our own lives. Because in this story we are presented with a man who will not take it. Instead, He'll give it back more than twice over. There's something appealing in the way that works. The main thing is he never puts a boot to anybody that doesn't have a boot coming to them. I think this image from Jesse's childhood should sum up this sentiment nicely. Last one I promise.
Available at your local bookstore!

Fables

Once upon a time there was a rich world of fairy/folk/fantasy/tall/--tales to be drawn from. So a couple of writers did it. The result is a community of your favorite storybook characters,with mythic powers intact, living in a corner of New York City in the early 21st century. Sound interesting? I think so. The Fables comic series is the brainchild of Bill Wilingham, and I'm a long time fan. It began in 2002 and I probably picked up my first copy int 2006. I've since become an addict, collecting every volume available in the continuity and still anxiously awaiting the next release. This series features nostalgic names cast in interesting, and sometimes unsettling light.

For example, the Big Bad Wolf is the sheriff of the town. Snow White is the Mayor, Sleeping Beauty owns a shoe store, and Cinderella is an espionage agent. All three of them are Prince Charming's ex wives. Turns out he slept with Snow White's sister, Rose Red, and broke up the first marriage, developing a taste for infidelity that condemned any further attempts at matrimony. Then there's the Orwellian revolution that occurs on the fairytale animal farm. Pigs do, in fact, take over. Oh yeah, and Goldilox is into bestiality.


Try to get the image out of your head. It's too late, that sucker is burned in. Sorry, I just ruined a perfectly innocent childhood memory for you.

Moving on, the Cover art to this series is what really attracted me. As you can see the detail is amazing. Above you have the Animal farm, Goldilocks wielding an ax on the right and Rose Red is there cuddling a menacing looking Shere Khan the far left.


That's the big bad wolf in human and animal form standing next to Snow White and one of the flying monkeys from Oz --The land over the rainbow, not the prison.-- With name recognition like this it eliminates the need for a lot of the exposition concerning character development. That allows the writer to take his time to slowly develop who the characters are within their situations rather than having an abundance of dialogue cluttering up the artwork. Thumbs up says I.

This volume isn't something your children should read though. It's got more than its fair share of gorey violence, innuendo, profanity, but only the occasional nudity. Speaking as a fan of all of those things, I can't really recommend it for anyone under the age of 7. Eight and up, full speed ahead.

If you get a moment to indulge your eyeballs I highly suggest you check out Fables.

Superman and Philosophy

The Man of Steel, the Last Son of Krypton, Kal-El, Clark. You get the drift, I'm talking about effing Superman. There are few figures in popular culture with the sort of universally iconic status the Man of Tomorrow possesses. Superman is an influential modern day mythology that encompasses the American ideal. Even though the ideal seems very lost on today's generation of youth. Superman has always fought and hopefully will always fight for truth, justice, and the American way. Does anybody know what the American way is anymore? Is it still: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Well, I hope so.

Either way, Supes is there to help. But I wonder why. Why does a being of infinite power look down upon humanity with all of our flaws and feel anything but contempt for our collective character and actions? Superman fights that never-ending battle for us, but surely he gets discouraged. Surely the numerous attempts we make to wipe each other off of the planet do not go unnoticed by his telescopic vision. So why? Why help a morally bankrupt species that is too paralyzed by apathy to help itself?

Does his alien physiology have an uber-evolved altruism gene? I recently read an excellent collection of philosophical treatises. Why break away from my regular reading for such a heady and complex subject matter? Because the title of the collection is Superheroes and Philosophy So really I'm still reading about comics. And comics are, as I have long maintained, our own modern day mythology, combining the archetypical super-heroic elements of their predecessors as well as updating the ethical lessons contained therein. Thus Superman is modern Heracles. But back to the point, Superheroes and Philosophy is a great work that contains several illuminating articles on the most iconic cape-wearer in history. One of which written by Mark Waid, (famous comic writer/illustrator/Superman historian) that delves into the depths of the superheroic psyche in order to discover the roots of ethical action.

Superman acts unselfishly in order to be self-realized. Take that one in. Superman is only a self realized human being when his social needs (from Maslow's hierarchy) are met. However, this means that people have to accept him as he is. Unfortunately, as he is is downright frightening to most human beings. After all a man more powerful than a locomotive is understandably something scary.

So in order to fit in with society at large Superman can't afford to be threatening. He has to benifit all of mankind lest he risk wholesale rejection by the general populace. He's simply too powerful to act any other way and get away with it. If Superman had the Batman mentality they'd have nuked the fortress of solitude ages ago. Only when Superman is able to embrace his alien physiological gifts is he able to truly be himself. But because of his alien nature, these gifts distinguish him from the groups in which he struggles to belong. So in order to reconcile his alien nature with his domestic surroundings he uses his alien identity for the good of mankind while hiding amongst us. He recieves regular recognition through his efforts as a reporter, while keeping the world safe from villainy allows him completely be himself and recieve the appropriate award for being extroridnary.

So Supes is the world's greatest hero because he doen't want to be last picked in kickball. Isn't that just the biggest mindtrip your innerchild has been through in awhile? My head's still spinning.

Best Villians

We all love to hate. Just admit it. You'll feel a lot better. And if you don't want to admit it, then you'll probably hate me for bringing up your ethical failings, so I still win. Everyone hates a winner.

But you know what I hate? Lousy villains. So naturally, I love (hating) the good ones. So seeing as I spent like two months talking about a Japanese comic strip nobody cares about, I felt like I'd go for something a bit more universal this time. That's right folks, this is my personal compendium of the all-time greatest villains.

1. The Joker.

Easily the best villain, if nothing else then by virtue of arching the best hero. More than that though, the Joker is like a perfect storm of dramatic elements creating one whopper of a malcontented murderer. His criminal genius is tempered with a callous recklessness. He demands to see the humor in even/only the darkest situations. For example, Why did Commissioner Gordon cross the road? Because Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl/the commissioner's daughter) was crippled by a gunshot wound and is residing in the Hospital there... Across the street.
See we don't think that's very funny, but the Joker is laughing his ass off, and he has been since he pulled the trigger.

Another reason to like the Joker? He killed the 2nd Robin. He wasn't a very popular character so the writer's decided to take him out. Need a stagnant untalented super-twit annihilated? The Joker is your madman. His psychotic charisma is very well captured in the latest movie, so if you've been living under a rock for the last couple of years, you should probably go pick up the Dark Knight. Good flick.

2.The Hulk.

I know what you're thinking. The Hulk's not a villain. Well, he damn well should be. He kicks ass as a villain. He takes on entire super-teams at a time, or just keeps busy with a ridiculously brutal battle with Wolverine. The Hulk can't technically be a villain sense he tries to do the right thing, but he is a walking WMD, and that makes him an excellent arch-nemesis.

And now that I'm thinking about it, the Hulk has been portrayed as down-right evil on numerous occasions. One of the most notable in recent years is the Old Man Logan series in which, after succumbing to radiation poison in his brain causes him to go incurably insane, The Hulk sires an in-bred clan of Hulk-hicks (hilarious.) As a result, he starts renting out (conquered) land to various schlubs living in an evil dominion. Among his renters: Wolverine and his family. Being a post-apocalyptic brain irradiated malcontent, Hulk just couldn't help but smash Wolverine's family when the rent was late. The result? An excellent fight with a disgusting surprise ending.

Ahhh, I can't help it I'm gonna ruin it for you. The Hulk eats him. But instead of digesting like a good little meal Wolverine decides to cut Hulk open from the inside. Which is awesome. Here's the cover art from the issue:

So I know both of the Hulk pictures feature Wolverine too. I just have to emphasize how epic and destructive the feud between these two is. Wolverine made his first appearance in a Hulk comic. They are a perfect fight. They both are nearly unstoppable for different reasons. The Hulk has unadulterated power, strength increasing anger, a formidable healing factor, and nigh invulnerability. While Wolverine has an unbreakable body and a nigh-impregnable ability to heal from any injury. Not to mention the speed and agility to avoid Hulks attacks altogether. And you probably already know about the razor sharp claws... Moving on.

3. Onslaught
Onslaught has got to be one of the most bad ass villains ever to grace a page. His powers are epic. They include energy projection, psychic/telekinetic abilities, magnetism, vast physical strength, and even reality manipulation. His powers are derived from his creators. He is a psionic entity based upon the psychic imprints of Magneto and Professor X. If you're more of a movie buff than a comic geek that's Gandalf and Captain Picard. Basically all of the worst parts of Professor X's subconscious leaked out and borrowed from all the worst parts of Magneto's brain and created a nearly omnipotent demonic super-mutant with the power to enslave and destroy all life.

The best thing about this character is he's an old concept injected with new ideas. He's the doppleganger of the most powerful psychic on the planet, but that isn't enough to have a world threatening event. So the writers asked "Why can't we have an evil twin that has the qualities of several people?" Why indeed. Turns out you can have a very successful line of comics and toys with that kind of lateral thinking.

4. Aizen Sousuke
So another villain probably no one has heard of. He's the main badguy from another manga/anime I keep up with called Bleach. It's about a society of shinigami (death gods) that patrol the earth looking for lost souls to guide to heaven, while protecting them from Hollows (demons/evil spirits/whatever.) Aizen is a captain in the Gotei 13, which is the main military force of the Soul Society. However, Aizen is a devious Benedict Arnold who will stop at nothing to attain greater power and dominion over not only the Earth, but the whole of the spirit world as well. To this end, he fakes his own death, murders the ruling council of Soul Society, and usurps their control without any one knowing. He can do this because his sword has the ability to hypnotize anyone who sees it's transformed state.

Not only is this an insanely cool power for a sword to possess, but his strength is also unparalleled within the series. At least as of yet. He has had only one battle in the series, and it can't even really be called a battle because no one could lay a finger on him. Even the series protagonist is powerless against the might of the former captain and current king of Hell. Wait. Did I mention that? He's king of Hell. The Hollows that the Shinigami fight live in a japanese version of Hell called Hueco Mundo. Yes the comic is japanese and the name of japanese hell is spanish. Don't ask me why, I'm just reporting folks.

Anyway, one sunny day Aizen just walks into Hell, usurps the throne, and enslaves the most powerful of the Shinigami enemies, and tells them to wait on his plan to unfurl. Seriously. Just waltzes right in behind enemy lines and dominates as if it were nothing. Now he's the king of Hell and the Gods of Death fear him. As you might imagine Aizen is overflowing with arrogance that thus far has shown itself to be well-founded. He rules over his lackey's with an unquestioned complacency that only rarely cracks to reveal the uncaring and bloodthirsty interior.

5. Woo-jin Lee


I'm not going to spend too much time on this one, but I'm telling you all right now: Go see Oldboy. It's a Korean film so you'll have to read subtitles, but get over it because this movie will seriously scar you for life. It has the most awful twist I've ever seen in anything. Anything: movie, comic, story, novel, history, etc. I won't ruin it for you because the shock value is just indeterminable. But it has a lot to do with the guy in the picture vigorously hating a guy named Dae-su Oh. He hates him so much he has him locked in a hotel room without telling him who has captured him or why. He keeps him there for 15 years, murders his wife, frames him for it, then lets him out and gives him a week to find out who and why. Sound sadistic? Just wait. It gets so much worse. Watch it. Don't think about it, just do it.

That's it for now hope you enjoyed this look into the darker reaches of the human imagination. Till next time yall.

Now's as good a time as any... Part two.

Drum Roll please...
The moment you've all been waiting for has arrived. I'm going to finish talking about Naruto today!
*Yeah! Other assorted crowd noises. Woo hoo!*
Thank you, thank you. You're all too kind.
*clears throat*
Well, I left off with Naruto vs. Gaara. This appropriately leads us into the next battle of fists and ideals alike: Naruto vs. Sasuke. How is it appropriate? That must be what you're wondering as you sit in your comfy chair and read my thoughts via electronic networking. Well, my little lovlies it is appropriate for several reasons which I will gladly share with you now.
First off, Naruto and Gaara are mirror images of each other. Secret weapons for the villages that created them, instruments of mass destruction and terror, persistent and reliable fighters, good and evil. Through their battle, Gaara is able to see the mistakes of his past and is able to repent from his senseless killings and seek a new path of acknowledgement and love. He manages to accomplish this by the way. He becomes Kazekage. The wisest, most powerful, and respected member of the Sand village.
If you'll remember to my last post this is the same goal that Naruto aspires to, just in a different village. Like I said: mirror images. So how does this lead into Sasuke? Because it's Naruto's next major one on one fight for one, and for another because Sasuke is Naruto's polar opposite. Where Naruto has endless amounts of perseverence, Sasuke has endless amounts of talent. Naruto has a demon beyond his control trapped in his body, Sasuke has the ability to control the demon but no access to it. Naruto grew up in isolation working for people to acknowledge him, whereas Sasuke was always appreciated and loved as a genius but was twisted into an avenger when his older brother murdered his entire clan. Naruto fights for the love and protection of his friends, while Sasuke cares only for revenge. They have had two major clashes in the series thus far, and I am basically crapping my pants in excitement for the third installment.
What I love about their fights and about their relationship is Naruto's refusal to treat Sasuke like an enemy. Even though he is fighting with his friend he is also fighting for their friendship. He absolutely refuses to lose Sasuke to the darkness his friend willingly embraces. Going so far as to make an (seemingly) unkeepable promise to bring him back, no matter how long it takes.


What's more, despite being narrowly defeated by Sasuke in their first major battle, and being completely owned by him in the second, Naruto only vows to try harder. I can't help but admire a character that has zero quit inside of him. And the one track-minded determination to follow through with his oaths. Chasing down sasuke is behind every action Naruto takes throughout the series. Even before Sasuke goes rogue, Naruto considers him a rival to be overtaken. However, the title "rival" does not necessarily imply enemy. And even after the schism between the two friends, enemies isn't the proper term to describe the most complex and intriguing relationship in the series.

Even later on in the series, it turns out that the battle between the two is a predestined event. Apparently, they are both descendants of the "Great Rikudo Sage" the founder of the ninja world and the first to harness the power of Chakra, which ninja use to perform their techniques. As the legend goes, this great sage passed his powers on to two of his progeny. To his elder son he gave the Rikudo's eyes, which implied intelligence and skill. The elder brother believed that the strength of his ninja techniques would be the key to saving the world. The younger brother received the Rikudo's body, which gave him relentless perseverance and stamina. The younger brother believed that Love would be the key to the world's salvation.

These two brothers were the founders of the two most powerful clans in the ninja world.These clans eventually formed an alliance to create the Leaf village where both Naruto and Sasuke are from. This alliance was split however when Uchiha Madara, leader of the Uchiha (Sasuke's) clan, and Hashirama Senju, the first Hokage, clashed over their new village's policies.

Just as the brothers of the past fought about the key to saving the world, so did the leaf village founders, and finally their successors are carrying on the same tradition.

So I suppose in addition to the sick artwork, epic themes, and ultra nerdy ninja concepts I also appreciate this Manga's treatment of history. You have to know where you come from to appreciate what you have, and the Mangaka (author and artist) certainly shows this understanding in his work.

Well, I hope I've at least convinced one or two of you to give this series a try. If nothing else you can easily waste a couple of hours getting lost in this unique and engrossing mythology.

Now's as good a time as any...

"As good a time as any for what?" you might ask. Why for me to reveal the true extent of my nerdom of course! Here it is: I love anime. I like it so much that I went to the source material by which all anime is created: Manga. Manga, for those of you who don't know, is the Japanese equivalent of a comic book. They are drawn without color and are read from right to left.

You. In the back. Stop snickering and hear me out.

Firstly, I am a huge fan of the artwork done in manga. Above, there is a picture from my current favorite, Naruto. Now before you get all judgmental on me and start thinking of the lame-ass dub (that means dubbed over in English rather than English subtitles for the layman) that Cartoon Network funnels down prepubescent throats week after week, check this out. It's a long fight, and unfortunately you miss a lot of the build up and character development with that link, but perhaps skipping around through that twelve minute mess you can start to get a feel of the show. The overall feeling you should be getting? I would hope a burgeoning appreciation for the texture as well as the visual aesthetics of the animation.

My (brief) summary of my favorite anime--> Epic themes: perseverance, friendship, hatred, loneliness, and faith. Epic characters with epic ninja powers: the link to the fight is the first in the series, where two legendary ninja from opposing villages battle to the death. and Epic artwork:



Impressed? Well, I was.
One thing I really love about manga as opposed to comic books, is the treatment of the space time continuum. For example Superman has been around since 1939 Making him a ripe old age of 70. If you've picked up a comic book, oh say... ever, you should know that Superman is in his early thirties tops. Naruto has been going on for ten years and the character has aged from 12 to 16. Still not completely accurate I know, but at least the effort is made. Japanese storytelling likes to show progression in every arena. As I've watched Naruto, I've noticed logical, gradual, and noticeable changes in nearly all the characters.
The main character, Naruto, begins life as an untalented prankster who dreams of becoming the wisest most powerful ninja in the village. He is enabled to achieve great power at a young age becaues of the 9 tailed demon fox sealed within him. In his early adventures he relies on this power heavily, but as time passes he realizes that he must find his own strength to overcome the hateful power that the fox provides. Five years later, his quest for enlightenment is in full swing and he is one of the more powerful ninja in the world.

What fascinates me most about Naruto is his refusal to ever give up, and an impassioned belief that peace in "this world of ninja" is possible. While the world he lives in is filled with assassination, intrigue, betrayal, and darkness Naruto refuses to compromise his values or his methods. His unofficial mantra, repeated in the headlines of the manga week after week, "He keeps looking forward" is a not so subtle reminder to the reader that laying down while the world tramples over you doesn't solve anything.

So emphatic is Naruto's belief and charisma that nearly all of his enemies are drawn into his ideology. The first great example of this is his battle with Gaara.


Gaara is the secret weapon of the Sand village. He also has a demon sealed within him that grants him almost immeasurable power. Because of this, he is feared and hated within his own village, even to the point where his own father sent assassins to kill him from the age of 7 years onward. Being raised in this environment turned Gaara into a psychotic killing machine, whose only purpose in life is to kill anyone who annoys him. Through killing, Gaara feels he is able to confirm his existence.

Naruto meets Gaara and originally he fears the strength that Gaara has gained by surviving alone. However, in talking with Gaara Naruto realizes that they are very similar. Being inspired by their similarities and opposing outlooks Naruto decides that true strength can only be attained by protecting someone you love. In an epic demon battle that takes some time to get through watching or reading, (but I highly reccomend it regardless) Naruto emerges battered and exhausted but victorious.

I've realized I love this stuff waaaaaaay too much because I'm not even half way done talking about it. I'll leave you with the links to somes sites where you can read the manga or watch the anime if you like: Manga Anime

To be continued soon.

Fraggin Bastiches

So I rediscovered an anti-hero from my youth recently. <---Lobo. Pretty cool right? He's a ridiculously overpowered alien biker with a penchant for murder, mayhem, and oddly enough: cute little fishies. Honestly, his antics are so silly it's difficult to take the mass deplorable violence seriously. It's also hard to believe he actually had a cameo on the kid's animated adventures of Superman. A whole episode devoted to a mass murderer by virtue of hilarity. Whatever, I'm sure Warner Brother's made money. Even so, this character is a piece of work even by my standards.

His origin story is one of self-imposed social alienation, followed quickly by genocide. That's right, "The Main Man" didn't want to look like anybody else so he kills everyone on his peace-loving home world Czarnia. He then proceeds to become the universe's most feared bounty hunter. He even has a fairly famous feud with The aforementioned last son of Krypton, the first episode of which ends with him kicking the ever loving crap out of the big blue boyscout, while completely intoxicated. A drunk beating up Superman? Can't help but let my inner child go all giggly with that one.

Not only has Lobo trounced the Man of Steel, but he's taken out a couple of other noteworthy icons. The first two that come to mind are Death and Santa Claus. In an epic miniseries Lobo fights a bounty hunter who's as bad as he is, ends up dying, but is rejected by both heaven and hell for being too damned rowdy. As a result he makes a deal with heaven that makes him completely immortal. Ya hear that? What's the message we're sending to our children? Don't take shit from anybody! Not even metaphysical beings possessing immense amounts of power! ESPECIALLY not them.

Later a hit is put out on the far-famed jolly fat man and the infamous Scourge o'the cosmos is contracted to take out ol St. Nick. Oddly enough, the big elf also happens to be an incontestable knife fighter. Another round of crimson carnage ensues and the Main Man emerges scarred but victorious.

Alright, I realize that so far this has been a completely pointless nerd-gasm. I guess I'm really just exercising my right to get someone else to appreciate the irreverence and relative under-the-radar status of one of my favorite literary genres. Seriously, any nine year old kid could go buy a comic book featuring today's subject. I did. Lobo was one of my favorite characters growing up. He was just as mean as a snake and funny to boot. But good God man. His weekly adventures regularly included bar fights that concluded in the disembowelment of some poor feeb too dumb to know not to talk to the gigantic pale white guy with the chain and hook. I'm just saying: parents watch what your kids are reading. Because chances are it appeals to their adolescent sensibilities and encourages them to gut their neighbors and utter nonsensical profanities, i.e. "Feetals Gizz! You know you can't run over my skateboard and not expect me to eat yer Fraggin entrails!" <---(actual dialogue from the character)

Well, I'm gonna rap this up since I've been rambling incoherently about an obscure 90's comic book character for about five paragraphs too many now. Hopefully I'll dig into something with a little more substance for my next post. A critical examination of Iron man's drinking problem perhaps? Might be fun. Lord give me the patience to accept the things I cannot change...