Fables

Once upon a time there was a rich world of fairy/folk/fantasy/tall/--tales to be drawn from. So a couple of writers did it. The result is a community of your favorite storybook characters,with mythic powers intact, living in a corner of New York City in the early 21st century. Sound interesting? I think so. The Fables comic series is the brainchild of Bill Wilingham, and I'm a long time fan. It began in 2002 and I probably picked up my first copy int 2006. I've since become an addict, collecting every volume available in the continuity and still anxiously awaiting the next release. This series features nostalgic names cast in interesting, and sometimes unsettling light.

For example, the Big Bad Wolf is the sheriff of the town. Snow White is the Mayor, Sleeping Beauty owns a shoe store, and Cinderella is an espionage agent. All three of them are Prince Charming's ex wives. Turns out he slept with Snow White's sister, Rose Red, and broke up the first marriage, developing a taste for infidelity that condemned any further attempts at matrimony. Then there's the Orwellian revolution that occurs on the fairytale animal farm. Pigs do, in fact, take over. Oh yeah, and Goldilox is into bestiality.


Try to get the image out of your head. It's too late, that sucker is burned in. Sorry, I just ruined a perfectly innocent childhood memory for you.

Moving on, the Cover art to this series is what really attracted me. As you can see the detail is amazing. Above you have the Animal farm, Goldilocks wielding an ax on the right and Rose Red is there cuddling a menacing looking Shere Khan the far left.


That's the big bad wolf in human and animal form standing next to Snow White and one of the flying monkeys from Oz --The land over the rainbow, not the prison.-- With name recognition like this it eliminates the need for a lot of the exposition concerning character development. That allows the writer to take his time to slowly develop who the characters are within their situations rather than having an abundance of dialogue cluttering up the artwork. Thumbs up says I.

This volume isn't something your children should read though. It's got more than its fair share of gorey violence, innuendo, profanity, but only the occasional nudity. Speaking as a fan of all of those things, I can't really recommend it for anyone under the age of 7. Eight and up, full speed ahead.

If you get a moment to indulge your eyeballs I highly suggest you check out Fables.

Superman and Philosophy

The Man of Steel, the Last Son of Krypton, Kal-El, Clark. You get the drift, I'm talking about effing Superman. There are few figures in popular culture with the sort of universally iconic status the Man of Tomorrow possesses. Superman is an influential modern day mythology that encompasses the American ideal. Even though the ideal seems very lost on today's generation of youth. Superman has always fought and hopefully will always fight for truth, justice, and the American way. Does anybody know what the American way is anymore? Is it still: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? Well, I hope so.

Either way, Supes is there to help. But I wonder why. Why does a being of infinite power look down upon humanity with all of our flaws and feel anything but contempt for our collective character and actions? Superman fights that never-ending battle for us, but surely he gets discouraged. Surely the numerous attempts we make to wipe each other off of the planet do not go unnoticed by his telescopic vision. So why? Why help a morally bankrupt species that is too paralyzed by apathy to help itself?

Does his alien physiology have an uber-evolved altruism gene? I recently read an excellent collection of philosophical treatises. Why break away from my regular reading for such a heady and complex subject matter? Because the title of the collection is Superheroes and Philosophy So really I'm still reading about comics. And comics are, as I have long maintained, our own modern day mythology, combining the archetypical super-heroic elements of their predecessors as well as updating the ethical lessons contained therein. Thus Superman is modern Heracles. But back to the point, Superheroes and Philosophy is a great work that contains several illuminating articles on the most iconic cape-wearer in history. One of which written by Mark Waid, (famous comic writer/illustrator/Superman historian) that delves into the depths of the superheroic psyche in order to discover the roots of ethical action.

Superman acts unselfishly in order to be self-realized. Take that one in. Superman is only a self realized human being when his social needs (from Maslow's hierarchy) are met. However, this means that people have to accept him as he is. Unfortunately, as he is is downright frightening to most human beings. After all a man more powerful than a locomotive is understandably something scary.

So in order to fit in with society at large Superman can't afford to be threatening. He has to benifit all of mankind lest he risk wholesale rejection by the general populace. He's simply too powerful to act any other way and get away with it. If Superman had the Batman mentality they'd have nuked the fortress of solitude ages ago. Only when Superman is able to embrace his alien physiological gifts is he able to truly be himself. But because of his alien nature, these gifts distinguish him from the groups in which he struggles to belong. So in order to reconcile his alien nature with his domestic surroundings he uses his alien identity for the good of mankind while hiding amongst us. He recieves regular recognition through his efforts as a reporter, while keeping the world safe from villainy allows him completely be himself and recieve the appropriate award for being extroridnary.

So Supes is the world's greatest hero because he doen't want to be last picked in kickball. Isn't that just the biggest mindtrip your innerchild has been through in awhile? My head's still spinning.

Best Villians

We all love to hate. Just admit it. You'll feel a lot better. And if you don't want to admit it, then you'll probably hate me for bringing up your ethical failings, so I still win. Everyone hates a winner.

But you know what I hate? Lousy villains. So naturally, I love (hating) the good ones. So seeing as I spent like two months talking about a Japanese comic strip nobody cares about, I felt like I'd go for something a bit more universal this time. That's right folks, this is my personal compendium of the all-time greatest villains.

1. The Joker.

Easily the best villain, if nothing else then by virtue of arching the best hero. More than that though, the Joker is like a perfect storm of dramatic elements creating one whopper of a malcontented murderer. His criminal genius is tempered with a callous recklessness. He demands to see the humor in even/only the darkest situations. For example, Why did Commissioner Gordon cross the road? Because Barbara Gordon (aka Batgirl/the commissioner's daughter) was crippled by a gunshot wound and is residing in the Hospital there... Across the street.
See we don't think that's very funny, but the Joker is laughing his ass off, and he has been since he pulled the trigger.

Another reason to like the Joker? He killed the 2nd Robin. He wasn't a very popular character so the writer's decided to take him out. Need a stagnant untalented super-twit annihilated? The Joker is your madman. His psychotic charisma is very well captured in the latest movie, so if you've been living under a rock for the last couple of years, you should probably go pick up the Dark Knight. Good flick.

2.The Hulk.

I know what you're thinking. The Hulk's not a villain. Well, he damn well should be. He kicks ass as a villain. He takes on entire super-teams at a time, or just keeps busy with a ridiculously brutal battle with Wolverine. The Hulk can't technically be a villain sense he tries to do the right thing, but he is a walking WMD, and that makes him an excellent arch-nemesis.

And now that I'm thinking about it, the Hulk has been portrayed as down-right evil on numerous occasions. One of the most notable in recent years is the Old Man Logan series in which, after succumbing to radiation poison in his brain causes him to go incurably insane, The Hulk sires an in-bred clan of Hulk-hicks (hilarious.) As a result, he starts renting out (conquered) land to various schlubs living in an evil dominion. Among his renters: Wolverine and his family. Being a post-apocalyptic brain irradiated malcontent, Hulk just couldn't help but smash Wolverine's family when the rent was late. The result? An excellent fight with a disgusting surprise ending.

Ahhh, I can't help it I'm gonna ruin it for you. The Hulk eats him. But instead of digesting like a good little meal Wolverine decides to cut Hulk open from the inside. Which is awesome. Here's the cover art from the issue:

So I know both of the Hulk pictures feature Wolverine too. I just have to emphasize how epic and destructive the feud between these two is. Wolverine made his first appearance in a Hulk comic. They are a perfect fight. They both are nearly unstoppable for different reasons. The Hulk has unadulterated power, strength increasing anger, a formidable healing factor, and nigh invulnerability. While Wolverine has an unbreakable body and a nigh-impregnable ability to heal from any injury. Not to mention the speed and agility to avoid Hulks attacks altogether. And you probably already know about the razor sharp claws... Moving on.

3. Onslaught
Onslaught has got to be one of the most bad ass villains ever to grace a page. His powers are epic. They include energy projection, psychic/telekinetic abilities, magnetism, vast physical strength, and even reality manipulation. His powers are derived from his creators. He is a psionic entity based upon the psychic imprints of Magneto and Professor X. If you're more of a movie buff than a comic geek that's Gandalf and Captain Picard. Basically all of the worst parts of Professor X's subconscious leaked out and borrowed from all the worst parts of Magneto's brain and created a nearly omnipotent demonic super-mutant with the power to enslave and destroy all life.

The best thing about this character is he's an old concept injected with new ideas. He's the doppleganger of the most powerful psychic on the planet, but that isn't enough to have a world threatening event. So the writers asked "Why can't we have an evil twin that has the qualities of several people?" Why indeed. Turns out you can have a very successful line of comics and toys with that kind of lateral thinking.

4. Aizen Sousuke
So another villain probably no one has heard of. He's the main badguy from another manga/anime I keep up with called Bleach. It's about a society of shinigami (death gods) that patrol the earth looking for lost souls to guide to heaven, while protecting them from Hollows (demons/evil spirits/whatever.) Aizen is a captain in the Gotei 13, which is the main military force of the Soul Society. However, Aizen is a devious Benedict Arnold who will stop at nothing to attain greater power and dominion over not only the Earth, but the whole of the spirit world as well. To this end, he fakes his own death, murders the ruling council of Soul Society, and usurps their control without any one knowing. He can do this because his sword has the ability to hypnotize anyone who sees it's transformed state.

Not only is this an insanely cool power for a sword to possess, but his strength is also unparalleled within the series. At least as of yet. He has had only one battle in the series, and it can't even really be called a battle because no one could lay a finger on him. Even the series protagonist is powerless against the might of the former captain and current king of Hell. Wait. Did I mention that? He's king of Hell. The Hollows that the Shinigami fight live in a japanese version of Hell called Hueco Mundo. Yes the comic is japanese and the name of japanese hell is spanish. Don't ask me why, I'm just reporting folks.

Anyway, one sunny day Aizen just walks into Hell, usurps the throne, and enslaves the most powerful of the Shinigami enemies, and tells them to wait on his plan to unfurl. Seriously. Just waltzes right in behind enemy lines and dominates as if it were nothing. Now he's the king of Hell and the Gods of Death fear him. As you might imagine Aizen is overflowing with arrogance that thus far has shown itself to be well-founded. He rules over his lackey's with an unquestioned complacency that only rarely cracks to reveal the uncaring and bloodthirsty interior.

5. Woo-jin Lee


I'm not going to spend too much time on this one, but I'm telling you all right now: Go see Oldboy. It's a Korean film so you'll have to read subtitles, but get over it because this movie will seriously scar you for life. It has the most awful twist I've ever seen in anything. Anything: movie, comic, story, novel, history, etc. I won't ruin it for you because the shock value is just indeterminable. But it has a lot to do with the guy in the picture vigorously hating a guy named Dae-su Oh. He hates him so much he has him locked in a hotel room without telling him who has captured him or why. He keeps him there for 15 years, murders his wife, frames him for it, then lets him out and gives him a week to find out who and why. Sound sadistic? Just wait. It gets so much worse. Watch it. Don't think about it, just do it.

That's it for now hope you enjoyed this look into the darker reaches of the human imagination. Till next time yall.